I witnessed something recently that
made me angry, anxious, and sympathetic to the young woman who was
verbally bashed by a customer. We were in Starbucks. This man in a
suit came in and rattled off an incredibly complicated order. I was
standing right behind him. There were fifteen drinks, and all of them
needed modifications. He was reading off from a list. It was already
pretty busy in there. This poor barista is trying to put in the
orders, talking to the other baristas and answering questions when
they weren't sure what her notes were, and in general doing a
splendid job of dealing with this asshole.
The guy paid for the drinks, an order
that was close to $80. Five minutes after he placed the order, he
pushed his way to the front of the line and started yelling and
swearing at the poor barista. He called her a “fucking cunt”,
continued swearing at her, and then told her he was going to tell her
manager how slow and useless she and the others were. This poor young
woman started crying.
No one said anything. They just ignored
the situation. No one stepped forward to defend her. Except for one
person. A slender young man who looked to be no more than nineteen or
twenty. He asked the man what his job was. The man said he did
something at a bank, I don't remember what. The young man asked if
he'd ever worked with the customers. The man said he had. The young
man asked what he did when someone did to him the same thing he'd
done to the barista.
The banker turned red and then started
yelling at the young man about how he should mind his own business
and what did he think he was doing talking so disrespectfully to a
man who obviously made more money than he ever would? The young man
smiled, told him he was the owner of the Starbucks we were in as well
as two more in the region. He told the man that he was very proud of
his baristas and that if he wanted his drinks he'd better go to
another coffee shop because he wasn't going to let them do any more
of the drinks. They'd only completed four at this point. The man
spluttered but was forced out.
The barista and the others thanked the
young man, who just told them to scrap the drinks and go on with
their day. He told them he'd take care of the man's complaints if
there were any. He got his drink and wandered off. By this point I
was shaking and the barista could see my agitation. She talked to me
since I was the only one still in line as the others filled my order.
We commiserated about assholes like this man, which is something both
of us had experienced before in our jobs. It was obvious talking
about it calmed the both of us down.
I have seen so much abuse dumped on
service workers. I was a bill collector, so I can understand the
animosity. I don't like dealing with collection companies either. But
why would you treat someone who is doing you a service like shit?
How many times have we let ourselves
get like this? We let our bad days, our foul moods, get the better of
us and we let it out on those who are just trying to help us? On
those days, we need to watch what we do and treat them with respect
even if we want to bite their heads off. Many times you'll surprise
them if you thank them and treat them with respect.
To expand on that thought, it doesn't
have to be people who are trying to do a service for us. It's our
loved ones, our friends, our co-workers. If we're in a bad mood we
take it out on them. We need to take a step back and remember that
they're not the reason (well, most of the time) for our bad moods.
It's a reaction we have to lash out at those around us when we don't
feel good, when we're agitated.
I'll admit I've gotten testy to people
if I was in a bad mood and they were doing something that irritated
me even more. I've snapped at them, been rude to them, though I don't
swear at them I've been inexcusably nasty to them. I try my hardest
not to do that because I don't like it when people do that to me. But
I still have my lapses.
We need to all be more aware of what we
do, how we speak, and how we treat others. If we treat them with
respect, we're more likely to get respect back. It's not always a
guarantee but it's more likely.
How about you? What do you do if
someone irritates you? What do you do to keep yourself from snapping
at them?
