Book reviews, contests, and bullying

My friend Joelle had a contest going on her blog. You download a free e-book that's around 27k and review it and then you're put in a drawing for a free e-book that's around 54k. Sounds like a sweet deal. (Which it is if you are into BDSM.) She's had several downloads of the free e-book, but no new reviews.

This makes me wonder why people don't leave reviews on books. I will, if I finish the book and it's a 3 star rating or above. If it's lower than that, I won't leave one. There are too many authors and readers out there who will attack anyone who leaves a low score and I don't feel like being bullied. If I can't finish the book, I don't feel I have a right to leave a review.

I do believe in supporting authors with a positive review if I can. I know that does tend to skew the numbers a little, but I just feel that unless I have something nice to say it's better not to say anything at all. I'm sure a number of you disagree with me. That's okay. It's more interesting to have different opinions. It's what makes discussions more enjoyable, as long as there's no bullying or name calling.

That's another thing I don't like about book reviews. The fact that people can be bullied for leaving an honest review. It's why I won't review anything on Goodreads anymore. If I feel strongly about a book, I'll review it here on my blog and I'll leave a review on the source of where I get it. Usually Amazon, though I have picked up a few from Smashwords. Those sites have a marginally lower instance of bullying.

Why do people bully others for having different opinions? It's not just book reviews. It's all over the place online. And offline, though it's not as pronounced there. Online you're protected by the anonymity of a computer screen. You can say what you want without repercussions. For the most part, at least. It's harder offline because you're face to face and can be penalized for it.

Bullying doesn't just happen about book reviews. When I was in high school, I was bullied for being awkward, a bookworm, not being pretty enough, being slightly overweight, not being able to keep up with my classmates physically, not being able to keep up with them mentally in some classes and exceeding them in others, etc. I couldn't get away from it. I made friends with similar problems, and we banded together to give each other support. But it wasn't enough and there were times where I considered suicide as a viable option. It didn't help that I wasn't getting any support at home. My parents wouldn't believe me about being bullied because most of it was psychological and emotional bullying, not physical.

We need to stand up to the bullies. We need to offer support and help to the bullied. We need to make sure people know that bullying – online or off – isn't right. People talk about children and teenagers being bullied. They need help and somewhere safe to go where they can feel secure and protected. But it's not just them that are being bullied. Adults get bullied too. I've spent a good portion of my life being bullied until I decided enough was enough and started standing up for myself. It led to more trouble for a while, but it started getting better. That's the message we need to send: stand up for yourself and it will end.

* climbs off soapbox *

Reviews - the problems that can arise because of trolls and what we should do

So many people have already talked about this, but I'm going to put in my two cents' worth too. Book reviews. Book reviews are not for the author. They are for other readers. They tell us people's opinions and why they thought that about the book. Whether it's a one star, a five star, or something in between, it's to let people know the writer's opinion. It's not to bully the author or badmouth them.

Then we get to the cyber bullies. The ones who post one star reviews that blast the author as an individual. They threaten physical harm or post personal insults to the author themselves. They are there only to drive down the author and damage his/her ranking online, to injure their self esteem, and to bring others into their damaging mindset.

There are also author bullies. They are the ones who go batshit crazy about a negative review. They go off on the reviewer and start a flame war that leads to people chiming in about the author's bad behavior. This just leads to more drama from the author to the point where people are put off from their books because of this behavior.

The truth of it is reviews can lead to many different things. We need to stop and take a look at what we're doing. Are we reviewing the book because the author insulted us in some way? Then we probably shouldn't post it. Are we reviewing it honestly because of our opinion? That's a little better. Do we disagree with another reviewer's opinion? We keep our mouths shut and respect that it's their opinion. The only time we intercede is if it's a bullying opinion. Then on Amazon we can vote it down. Goodreads we can report it (as far as I know...I haven't been on there in a while because of the cyber bullying). There are ways we can bring these to the attention of those in charge of the website and hopefully someone will take care of it.

To summarize, be respectful of the author but don't be afraid to voice your opinion. Make sure it's on the book and not on the author. Authors, don't answer reviews. Keep your mouth shut and let your readers speak their minds. If you see someone cyber bullying another person, report it.

Why I won't post reviews anymore

Okay, to start I have no clue who this author is.  I've never read any of her books.  To be honest, I never heard of her before this.  I don't read these kinds of books normally, and now she's made it so I don't want to read hers at all.

Not posting the name, but read the article from this reviewer
Here's the blog post that got me started tracking down information on this author's antics
Some good advice to any author

Now, for a more general view on the situation.

You have to be a Goodreads member to read this, but here's an interesting forum discussion on the whole "Authors Behaving Badly" situation
This blogger gives us a list of authors, and some links to follow with advice for authors
Shannon Mayer gives excellent advice on what to do with negative reviews

Okay, people.  First off, we're adults.  Let's act like them instead of acting like a bunch of high school kids out to bully the people who "aren't like us".  We shouldn't be acting like spoiled little brats who have been told we have to share our favorite toys.  Um, hello?  We're authors?  We're SUPPOSED to put our "toys" (or babies...or most precious possessions EVER) out there for people to play with.  We're inviting them into our world.

And not everyone's going to like our works.

It's okay.  Not everyone likes the same things.  The thing is to realize this before you ever hit that "publish" button if you're self-published or before you sign your contract if you're going the traditional publishing route. You have to understand and accept that there are going to be negative reviews on your darlings.  You do NOT have the right to instigate flame wars, stalking, and cyber bullying just because you can't get a grip on the fact that you are not going to appeal to all people in all parts of the world all of the time.

Don't get me wrong.  I'm going to cry, scream, shriek, and throw a tantrum when (notice I didn't say IF) my darlings get the negative reviews.  But I won't do it online.  I'll do it in private, to Himself.  I'll write about it in my private journal (the paper one I don't let anyone see).  And then I'll dry my eyes, sit down at the computer and do what Shannon suggests - I'll write another book.  My fans will buy my books and that's all that matters.

Now, this is a shout out to reviewers: keep your reviews about the books.  Don't make it a personal vendetta against the author because they looked at you cross-eyed once back in high school, or unfollowed you on Twitter, or won't follow you on Facebook, or you don't like their author picture because you think it makes them look ugly, or...or...or....  You get the idea.

That's tacky, rude, and hurts you as much as it can hurt the author.  You weaken your own position on other books you've reviewed with personal attacks against an author.  It makes people question if you're giving negative reviews because you have a vendetta against the author instead of actually reading the book and having a constructive thought on how to make it better.

Also, reviewers, if an author does go nuts on your review, don't have your friends jump in to defend you or start stalking/cyber bullying the author and their fans.  That just reinforces their poor opinion of you.

Fans of authors, don't jump on the bandwagon.  If your favorite author jumps to social media to mock the negative reviews, don't immediately go to their defense.  The term "rabid" comes to mind when things like that happen.  My sincere hope is that any fans of my writing - once the books are published - will respect my wishes on this and NOT leap to my defense on negative reviews.  I don't want the help, folks.  I'm a big girl. I'll handle it privately and then I'll go back to writing more books for you to love.

But as a result of this, I'm not going to post reviews of books anymore.  I refuse to publish only 4 or 5 star reviews.  If I don't like a book, I want the freedom to say why I didn't like it.  I want that freedom without the fear of being harassed, stalked, or threatened for posting something that isn't the happy-happy/joy-joy review of somebody's favorite author.  I've already been stalked and cyber bullied once online.  I don't care to repeat the experience.

That's also why I refuse to give support to groups who support those people who are in favor of actions like I've illustrated above where authors and fans have gone off the deep end.  Don't ask for me to retweet you.  Don't ask me to showcase something you're doing on my blog.  It won't happen.

There are a few authors who I will still review for, but only because we're long time friends and I KNOW that if I say there's something wrong with the book, they won't jump on me and ask me why I'm being so mean to them.  They will understand that it's not personal.  I just didn't like something about the book.  I also know that, for the most part, they've got reasonable fans who won't get all rabid on me if I say something that some of them disagree with.  They may come and tell me why they disagree with me, but it'll be reasonable discourse and not the flame wars, trolling, cyber bullying and stalking that goes on in some of these cases.

Long story short: STOP ACTING LIKE SPOILED BRATS AND UNDERSTAND THAT THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOU!  DO NOT RESORT TO CYBER BULLYING!  DO NOT ENCOURAGE YOUR FANS TO CYBER BULLY OR STALK PEOPLE WHO POST NEGATIVE REVIEWS! REVIEWERS, KEEP YOUR REVIEWS ABOUT THE BOOKS AND NOT ABOUT THE AUTHOR! STOP WITH THE PERSONAL ATTACKS, PEOPLE!

*climbs off soapbox*