N is for Negative Thinking

Negative thinking is something I'm guilty of. It's been my general attitude for everything. It has been most of my life. (See my M post for a good idea of why.) I've lightened up a lot in the past fifteen years compared to what I was like growing up. But I still have that problem of looking on the negative side of things rather than look for the positive.

Even when I do find one positive thing in the midst of all the things going on in my life, I see even more negatives. As Himself says, “Ten negatives outweigh one positive.” Something's changing though and I think it's for the better.

Each day I tell myself to look for the possibilities in the day and see them as learning experiences rather than things to drag me down. It's hard. Many times I fail. But each time I succeed it gets to be a little easier.

I still have negative thoughts. I sparked a fight Saturday night because of one. When things calmed down, Himself was able to explain to me why he felt what I did was detrimental to my situation. I agreed with him and said I'd work on being more blunt.

Positive things can come out of negative experiences. You learn something new. You learn how strong you can be. You gain more knowledge and a different perception on things. But if you only look for the negative, you hold yourself back. You don't expand your experiences. You hide and everything passes you by.

There are times when you just can't find the positive. No matter how hard you try. You don't see a light at the end of the tunnel. You're climbing an ice covered mountain and you're caught at a place where there's no hand holds and what's above you is a sheer sheet of ice. Even the most positive person has moments like this.

The only thing to do is to keep looking for a way out of the negative. You have to make your own light, chisel out your own hand holds. Ask others for help. Tell them what you're thinking and feeling and see if they can take you in another direction than you originally thought of. Don't hold yourself rigid or you'll break. Go with the flow and change directions when you need to.

All of this is great advice, and has been drilled into me time and time again by Himself. It's finally beginning to make sense and I've been working on implementing it in my life. One of these days, maybe one day soon, I'll be able to get up without my usual defeatist attitude and find a world always open to possibilities. Where even mistakes and changes can be learning experiences instead of filled with depression and fear.