Leelah Alcorn and suicide

If you've been online over the past few days, you've probably encountered something dealing with the suicide of Leelah Alcorn. If you haven't, then you should look it up. Here is a more concise description than I can give.

The reason I bring this up is because it sheds a light on a very troubling situation in the United States, and all over the world. This shows the lack of understanding and acceptance of people that don't fit the gender stereotypes we're so fond of shoving people into. Looking into the statistics for transgender suicide, one article I read said “a whopping 41% who are transgender or are gender-nonconforming have attempted sometime in their lives.” This is nine times the national average. And this survey was released three years ago.

I don't know anyone who's transgender. At least, I've never heard someone claim to be that or witnessed the kinds of prejudice that is sadly a part of daily life for someone who holds that they were born in the wrong body. I realize being transgender is more than that, but that's the way I know best to describe it.

Why is it we drive people to attempt, if not actually succeed, at taking their own lives? In Leelah's case, as witnessed by her suicide note, her parents cut her off from anyone and everyone who might have understood her. They forced her into counseling for her “problem”. They might have thought they were doing the right thing for her, trying to force her back into that little box their personal and religious beliefs thought she should be in. But she didn't fit. And in the end, all she could do to help others like her was step in front of a truck and die to open up the world's eyes to a problem that has been going on for a long time.

It's not just the transgender community who suffers from the stigma of being different. Those in the LGBTQI community are bullied and in some cases are forced by well meaning loved ones into therapy that does more harm than good. Suicide rates among teens and adults in the LGBTQI community are very high. Most of them are caused by constant bullying and assaults from their peers and total strangers. In some cases, the bullying can lead to death just by the act of the assault on its own.

I think Leelah is getting her wish. In the end of her suicide note – which was published on and then later taken down by Tumblr – she said, “The only way I will rest in peace is if one day transgender people aren't treated the way I was, they're treated like humans, with valid feelings and human rights. Gender needs to be taught about in schools, the earlier the better. My death needs to mean something.”

Her death has meant something. It's shedding light on something that people tend to try to forget exists. As Leelah says, gender needs to be taught about in schools. Not the “you must always be the same gender you were born” education. The “if you don't feel quite right as your given gender, there are others out there like you.” People need to open their eyes and realize that not everyone thinks or feels the same way as they do.

For those feeling suicide is their only option, there is a national suicide prevention hotline. That number is 1-800-273-8255. But now there is a transgender phone number found here. This is the website for the Trans Lifeline. The phone number they give is 877-565-6366. The hours it's opened are available on the site. It's hoped that if they're given a place that is sensitive to their needs, that more of the transgender teens and adults will look for different solutions than killing themselves.

I don't know the kind of hell these people go through that makes them want to take their own lives. I've had my run in with committing suicide, so I have a vague indication of the hopelessness they feel. But I know how hopelessness can steal away your will to live. I experienced that two years ago.

If you know a transgender person, offer them support. That should go without saying for everyone around you that is a part of your life, whether fleeting or long term. Think before you say or do something hurtful towards another person. Stop and try to see it from their point of view before you speak or act. Not everyone is going to be like you. Don't try to force them into a narrow little hole.

Suicide

I know I talk about mental illness on my blog. It's because it's something I'm passionate about. Depression, schizophrenia, bipolar, autism, hypermania, hypomania, all of things can affect people and you might not even notice.

I'm bipolar. Last November I tried to kill myself. I took half a bottle of klonopin. But I panicked and called and texted a bunch of people. I was taken to the hospital by ambulance when the police arrived. I don't remember the ride though. I lost consciousness. We got to the ER. I was told later I had periods of me being awake and disoriented and me just being unconscious. I couldn't tell what was happening, but it was enough to frighten Himself.

I vaguely remember getting to the mental hospital. It was around 2 or 3 in the morning. I made it to my room and passed out again. I woke up when someone came to take my vitals. It was 7 am and I was told they'd been taking my vitals every 15 minutes since I got there. I wasn't clear headed but I was more oriented so they let me go to breakfast.

A few days passed and I met up with a woman appointed by the court to talk to me. We talked and explained that if she and another one of her colleagues who I would meet in another day or two gave me a positive, I'd be stuck in the mental hospital for a while until they decided to give me a negative. Both of them gave me positives.

I had to go to court so it was legally said that I was to stay in the mental hospital until they felt I wasn't a threat to myself. To go I was handcuffed and placed in the back of a police car. I stood before the judge with the handcuffs on. When it was done, I was taken back to the hospital.

The hospital I was at was only a temporary stay. They found me another hospital to spend a longer time. That was Safe Haven. I was taken in the back of a police car, though this time I wasn't handcuffed. I got to the hospital and was immediately taken under the care of a psych tech. She guided me through the initial check in, and then helped me to my room. They were single occupancy rooms so I didn't have to worry about someone bothering me. She talked to me for a few minutes about who I was, what my goals were outside of the hospital, and why I thought suicide was the only way out. She genuinely cared. I'd already been in mental hospitals for suicidal ideology (thinking about it but not actually going through with it) three times and I never felt so cared for as I did when I arrived at Safe Haven.

I was there from December 3^rd to December 18^th. While I was there, I grew comfortable dealing with the other patients and the staff. I was treated well, and any time I felt upset one of the psych techs would take me to the side and sit with me until I felt better. My psychiatrist worked with me and actually listened when I told her what was going on so we could get my cocktail of meds fully set up to help me stay stable.

I still had to have the lady appointed by the court come and talk to me to make sure I was safe to leave the hospital and go home. She came and talked to me. She gave me a negative and my involuntary hold was retracted. I could go home. It took two days for that negative to get registered with the court. My husband came and got me and I went home.

When I tried to kill myself, I thought it was the only way to go. I felt nothing in my life was going right. I thought people would be better off without me because I was just a drain on them. I decided that people didn't really love me and only said that to appease me. I didn't talk about my feelings with anyone.

Pay attention to those you know have mental illness. If they want to talk, listen to them. Be encouraging to them and show that you love them. If they have trouble, don't abandon them. You can't change them. You can't tell them what to do. But sometimes all it takes is one person who believes in them to help them. But even that doesn't always work.

The national suicide hotline is here. Some states have local suicide hotlines. Encourage them to talk to them. Make sure they have the suicide hotline so if they have any doubts it's the right thing to do they have someone to talk to.