Writing Wednesday - Sad scenes in your books

Last night I had to do the hardest thing I've done with this manuscript - I had to kill a character.  She's technically a minor character but she'd become as beloved to me as the main characters.  I nurtured her through her rough childhood, suffered with her when she struggled with magic, and ultimately rejoiced with her when she married and had her first child.  And then, when she was at her happiest, I killed her.

I had to.  It was needed to move the story forward, and will spur the main character (since this is his only daughter) to the much needed point of wanting revenge against the people who murdered her.  It burns and festers in his mind until those people act again.  That second time, when they wipe out what he thinks is what's left of his people, he loses it.  He'll try to kill all of those who had anything to do with the massacre.  His actions are what changes things to lead up to the third book in the loosely connected series.

But I cried when I killed her.  I didn't want to do it.  I felt like a heartless monster when I did it.  I put on my saddest song that I have access to (Who Wants To Live Forever by Queen) and I burned through that scene.  I cried along with her father and her husband as she was laid to rest.

That got me to thinking.  Is it a good idea to get so involved in your story that you grieve over the loss of a character?  Or that you laugh with your characters when something fun happens?  Is it normal or necessary to get that deeply involved in your characters' lives?

I think it is.  I love feeling what my characters are feeling, because I think it helps me portray those feelings better as I'm writing them.  I think it's better for my readers because if I'm that connected hopefully they'll be as connected by the time I'm done.  I'm investing my time and my emotions into these characters.  I want a reader to do the same.

I don't know if I've succeeded, but I do know I wrote one hell of a depressing scene last night.  I only hope that when I go back in edits I can make it punch a reader in the gut even more.