At any given time in the United States, there are children and adults being threatened or who are experiencing some kind of abuse - physical, emotional, sexual. The statistics are there for everyone to see. You can see Domestic Violence statistics here and can look up the Child Abuse statistics here.
Victims of abuse are often too scared to come forward. Most of the time with children it is someone else who notices the victimization and reports it. Some abuse victims feel like they deserve what they're getting because they've been convinced by their abuser of their worthlessness.
Abuse is not something to be ignored. Abuse is not something that will go away with time. The interesting thing to remember though is abusers were probably abused themselves. This doesn't excuse what they're doing. Abuse is never right no matter what the situation is.
Victims of abuse can perpetuate the abuse with others. To stop the cycle of abuse something needs to be done. Abusers don't always realize what they're doing because it seems normal to them. This is what their life was like so it must be how things are done. Sometimes all it takes is someone calling them out on it to get them to seek help. Other times it just makes things worse.
If you know of someone being abused, please report it. Get them help. Don't stand by and let someone get hurt or possibly killed. Encourage them to speak up. Tell them this isn't normal and they don't deserve it. If you are a victim of abuse get away from your abuser. You aren't at fault and you need to leave. Children often don't have a voice. Be their voice. Stand up for them.
I was emotionally and physically abused as a child. No one spoke for me. I believed I was worthless and deserved what I got because of that. I'm turning 37 this year and I still have problems thinking that. My husband is amazing and tries to build me up. He talks to me, encourages me to think past that, and open my eyes to how much worth I really have.
Sometimes it works.
I can be very self destructive because of what happened to me growing up. All the way into my adulthood I was afraid of my abuser. It wasn't until I got away from them and found my own life that the fear started to lift. I've been at this for 15 years, escaping from the fear and emotional scarring of the abuse. As I said before, it's not an easy road. I'm better than I was but I still have a long way to go.
I'm so sorry about what happened to you. I know someone who was abused as a child and it has stayed with them. I think you're right and we have to do everything in our power to stop it as soon as we possibly can.
ReplyDeleteEveryone should look up the warning signs of abuse for all ages and make note of them. No one should be left in that situation if it can be avoided.
DeleteWise words. I'm so sorry that you had such horrible experiences.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I'm learning that I don't have to let the abuse define me. I can work past it and be my own person.
DeleteIt horrifies me that the statsitics on abuse are so high, and I am very sorry to here you had to go through such an ordeal.
ReplyDeleteInterestingly, I read something recently that said that the latest research seems to indicate that most abusers were NOT abused - even though this was past conventional wisdom. I can't remember where I read it, or I'd refer you to it. If this proves to be true, we're going to have adjust our thinking on abuse prevention. On the other hand, at least victims will no longer have the fear of becoming abusers hanging over their heads (as the author of the article I read, who had been abused, noted himself).
I might have to look that up, see if I can find it online. That does sound interesting. It would turn everyone on their ears if that's the case.
DeleteYou are very brave to tell your story to the world. Thank you for sharing. And as hard as it may be, victims need to rise up and take the offensive against their abusers and help bring them to justice. Otherwise, they will continue to hurt more people. Difficult, I'm sure. But find support and go after these people. I applaud you and those who have experienced similar abuse.
ReplyDeleteFor some, there is no justice for them. Their abusers have died, or have left the picture completely. There is no justice, no closure. Not until the abused can let go, which can often take years. I do agree with you though. If it's at all possible I think that the abused need to take their abusers down.
Delete*hugs* Good luck on your journey to heal. It's good your hubby is in your corner to cheer you on. I'm rooting for you too.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Patricia. I wouldn't have gotten as far as I have without him. Though I've still got a long way to go.
DeleteThat's a hell of a post to start off with. I hope it opens a few people's eyes. On a more personal notes, big hugs and well wishes from my end, though it sounds like your husband is great support. To use a hockey metaphor, keep your stick on the ice. :)
ReplyDelete- Murphy
Thanks. :) It's slow going but he's dragging me out of the pit. I wouldn't be as far along as I am without him.
DeleteThanks for your bravery in being so transparent.
ReplyDeleteTransparency is the best way to stop this from happening to someone else. Thanks for reading.
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