G is for Growth

Growth.

Everything grows. People, plants, animals, even single celled organisms can grow into a colony which is greater than the whole. Our minds grow too. With every word we read, every syllable we utter, with every image we see, our minds expand with knowledge and wonder.

It pains me to hear people say they don't read, they're not into reading. I don't read as many books as I used to but I'm forever reading articles online, researching and learning new things. I know someone who doesn't even do that. He won't play games that require too much reading because he finds it hard.

I don't know if he has problems with his eyes, if he's dyslexic, or if he just doesn't like reading. There are many reasons why someone wouldn't read. But there are other ways to expand your knowledge. The new Cosmos has a website here where you can watch full episodes. I don't have tv so I go there to watch. There is a desire here to learn more.

Physical growth is inevitable for the majority of people. But mental growth, that's something controlled solely by the individual. In school we are taught many things, but retaining them or finding some passion in them to continue learning long after we've been taught the lesson and the teacher has moved on. Devouring books, papers, even videos if we can find them. Yes, I know today on YouTube you can find just about anything. But think back to when you were in elementary, junior high, or high school. Did you have the tools we have now?

Learning is so much easier now. A quick search on Google gives you answers you didn't know you wanted. YouTube offers videos on how to do so many things. Facebook and Twitter can be sources of links as well, as you monitor your feed for fascinating tidbits you can then research on your own later. So much information is out there, it's up to you to find it and expand your knowledge and your mind.

Interestingly enough, I feel movies and video games can do the same. Movies can inspire you to go further, to reach for distant stars and motivate you to find a new way of seeing things. Video games – and yes, I know there are some terrible games out there – can teach you hand/eye coordination, how to solve puzzles, and give you social interactions.

There are so many ways to grow your mind. Do something today to give yourself some new knowledge. Play a game. Watch a movie. Use all of these things to be inspired and to grow.

F is for Flowers

I love flowers. If I was able to, and wasn't so scared of bees, I'd have a garden right now. Even with my fear of bees I think I'd like to have a garden full of flowers. Also a vegetable garden. But vegetables aren't flowers.

I have a few favorites. By far my absolute favorite though is the hydrangea. I love the look of the flowers clustered all together. They can be light blue to light purple. If I'd had a bouquet for my wedding it would have been one hydrangea cluster. If we ever renew our vows with a formal ceremony (we've talked about so many options), I'm going to have a hydrangea cluster for my bouquet.

I also love lavender. I love the look of the purple flowers. I love the scent. The scent is a natural calming agent for me. The smell relaxes me and takes me out of the moment to another place. I think it's awesome how many things can be made with lavender from soaps to lotions, from tea to biscuits. Lavender can be both scent and food.

In some ancient societies, flowers were used to send messages. When a woman wore flowers she did so with great care for they gave status and meaning to what she was saying/doing. Flowers could be sent as messages even when words could not, for not everyone was literate but a flower was as good as the written word.

In Fury, one of my current projects - a sci fi novella - flowers are used by the primary antagonist in the story to pass a message along to Fury, who is then pushed down different paths because of them.

What are your favorite flowers? Do you grow them or are they something you'd have to purchase at a floral shop? What messages do you think your flowers would say if you sent them to someone?

E is for Equality

There was a wonderful announcement by George Takei on my Facebook feed last Saturday that I just had to look into. He posted that England and Wales had lifted their ban on same sex marriages. As of midnight leading from Friday into Saturday, gay and lesbian couples were already lining up to be married.

Marriage equality is not a privilege. It should be a right, along with equal pay, equal insurance coverage, businesses should not be able to discriminate against someone just because of their gender identity and/or sexual orientation.

For many, being LGBT isn't just about what gender they prefer to have sex with. It's how they identify themselves. For some in that community, it's now how they're born it's what they feel and believe they are inside. Not all gay/lesbians feel they should have been born the other gender. They just prefer the relationships with their own.

The ones who suffer worse than the gay/lesbian/bi cultures are the trans-gender. I don't know as much about their lives as I'd like but I know what I've read. And what I've read makes me sick at the cruelty of some people. Forcing a male-to-female to use the men's room even though she's likely to be attacked all because her physical birth gender was male.

There was a M-to-F that used to work where I did. Let's call her Maria. Maria was a brilliant, beautiful, and hard working woman. She was smart, funny, and had a way of making even the worst customers seem ridiculous and amusing. One day, when she was using the restroom, her stall door didn't latch all the way and someone pushed it open while she was using it. The shit hit the fan.

Maria hadn't gone through the surgery. It's not cheap around here and she was waiting until she and her partner had a little more saved before she went through it. She was going through the hormone treatment so in every aspect except one, she looked and for all intents and purposes was, female.

But because someone saw a penis instead of a vagina she was badly mistreated by the company. For an employer who prides itself on being LGBT friendly, they treated her like shit. It took a debate all the way to corporate before Maria was allowed to use the women's restroom. But every time she went in some woman went to management and screamed about how uncomfortable they were with Maria in there. No one stopped to think about how uncomfortable Maria was with that.

Maria finally gave up and quit. I don't know if she found another job that was more trans friendly or if she just stopped working because of the cruelty she suffered at the call center we worked at. I didn't even know she was gone until I overheard someone call her a freak and laugh about the fact that she was gone.

I had a gay co-worker who ran into similar circumstances. One of the ultra-conservative Christians working for the company saw his wedding pictures and threw a fit. She tore the pictures down and ripped them to pieces one day while he was off. She claimed she was saving us all from the devil.

When he came back and saw what had happened, he went to his manager. His manager told him she had every right to destroy his personal possessions because "we can't go against someone's beliefs". He handed in his notice right there and left.

I think in the time I was there, I witnessed every gay/lesbian/trans co-worker of mine driven off by the small minded exploits of the people I worked with and for. I was disgusted and eventually when my health ended the possibility of me working there, I was thrilled. I'm bi and a few people knew that. I was already getting some dirty looks and was once told to stop staring at a female co-worker's ass. My shoe was coming off and she was wearing a tight skirt. She thought when I bent down it was to try to look up her skirt.

Several states have marriage equality laws passed. There are countries that have done the same. When will everyone - lesbian, gay, bi, trans, queer, whatever you identify as - when will we all get the equality and the same rights as everyone else?

D is for Depression

I originally had another post in here but I realized there was something even more serious that I needed to talk about. It's something I live with every day. It is as much a part of me as my eye color or my skin. That is the burden of depression.

Part of what I deal with is a chemical imbalance. I've talked about that in another post. Part of what I deal with is another thing. It's an emotional response to things in my life. That is the depression I want to talk about today.

I don't know a single person who hasn't had that moment of "I can't handle this any more." If someone tells you that they don't have these moments, they're lying. They may not recognize it when it happens but it's there just the same.

Those are the days where getting out of bed is too difficult. When you can't focus on anything. When nothing feels worth doing. You need to understand that you can get past it.

It feels like you can't, like there will never be another happy day in your life. But it gets better. It may take an hour or a day. But you can get that positive feeling back again. You just have to keep telling yourself "It isn't the end, it will get better."

And in the end it does.

C is for Cat

I have a cat. If you've read this blog for any amount of time you know this. Reidar is my companion and my friend. He is my company when I need him and a source of calm when I'm upset. He is quirky, annoying, loving, and above all – he's a cat. And cats are awesome.

Cats come with many different personalities and traits, just like humans. They come in all shapes and sizes. Their fur comes in different shades, patterns, and lengths. There are even some cats without fur. There are cats who are mellow and cats who are closer to their wild cousins than regular domesticated cats.

Some people are allergic to cats, and I have to say I'm sorry for that. Cats can make wonderful companions. Then there are people who are more dog people than cat people. That's awesome. Whatever pet you choose has the potential for being a good companion.

Cats have been around for thousands of years. Cats have been associated with humans for the last 7,000 to 8,000 years. They started coming around when we had permanent settlements to chase the rodents feeding on the grain. Egyptians worshiped cats and venerated them as part of their religion.

Then there was the time when cats were considered tools of the devil. They were hunted and killed. People who associated with cats were considered witches and were often killed along with the animal. That was a dark time for our furry companion.

But cats became valuable again and people welcomed them as pets and companions. The history of dogs is a little more hard to determine. No one is quite sure when they became companions to people. There are a lot of differing opinions on that. But dogs have been around for a long time as well, and people have used them for many different purposes over the centuries.

No matter what pet you have, treat them well and they will return your care with love.

B is for Bipolar

Not all of my posts are going to be this serious. In fact, most of them won't be. But I felt, on the tail of the abuse post, I wanted to talk to you about a diagnosis that will follow me for the rest of my life: bipolar disorder.

It's not as frightening as it may sound. Bipolar disorder is a chemical imbalance that creates misfires in the brain. It can lead to a shift from hypomania to depression. This is not the depression that can be controlled with positive thinking, it's not the type that goes away after a day or two. Neither of these are. Both the mania and the depression can last for hours or they can last for days, depending on how fast the cycle is.

My cycle isn't rapid but it does change faster than you'd think looking at me. You also wouldn't realize I was bipolar looking at me, unless you knew my diagnosis. This is because I'm on medicines that help me control it.

Now, medicine isn't the only way to control it. Exercise, diet, herbal supplements, things like that can help too. For me, medicine was the best route because I couldn't find another way to control it. I have a friend who is unmedicated that cycles faster than I do that controls hers by exercise and other activities.

Here is an excellent article that gives you some subtle signs of bipolar disorder. There are a number of mental illnesses that can range from mild to complete and total mental shutdown. Not all of them can be treated like mine can.

If you see someone who has bipolar disorder - or any mental illness - don't shut them out. Don't push them away. Don't ignore them. Offer your love and support and friendship. You never know when they'll need that one person they know they can trust to talk them out of something that will destroy their own lives, and possibly the lives of others such as cutting, self mutilation, suicide, homicide. All of these are possible for those who are bipolar, as they are for other mental illnesses.

Support, don't shut them out. Educate, don't assume. Love, don't hate.

A is for Abuse (Trigger Warning)

At any given time in the United States, there are children and adults being threatened or who are experiencing some kind of abuse - physical, emotional, sexual. The statistics are there for everyone to see. You can see Domestic Violence statistics here and can look up the Child Abuse statistics here.

Victims of abuse are often too scared to come forward. Most of the time with children it is someone else who notices the victimization and reports it. Some abuse victims feel like they deserve what they're getting because they've been convinced by their abuser of their worthlessness.

Abuse is not something to be ignored. Abuse is not something that will go away with time. The interesting thing to remember though is abusers were probably abused themselves. This doesn't excuse what they're doing. Abuse is never right no matter what the situation is.

Victims of abuse can perpetuate the abuse with others. To stop the cycle of abuse something needs to be done. Abusers don't always realize what they're doing because it seems normal to them. This is what their life was like so it must be how things are done. Sometimes all it takes is someone calling them out on it to get them to seek help. Other times it just makes things worse.

If you know of someone being abused, please report it. Get them help. Don't stand by and let someone get hurt or possibly killed. Encourage them to speak up. Tell them this isn't normal and they don't deserve it. If you are a victim of abuse get away from your abuser. You aren't at fault and you need to leave. Children often don't have a voice. Be their voice. Stand up for them.

I was emotionally and physically abused as a child. No one spoke for me. I believed I was worthless and deserved what I got because of that. I'm turning 37 this year and I still have problems thinking that. My husband is amazing and tries to build me up. He talks to me, encourages me to think past that, and open my eyes to how much worth I really have.

Sometimes it works.

I can be very self destructive because of what happened to me growing up. All the way into my adulthood I was afraid of my abuser. It wasn't until I got away from them and found my own life that the fear started to lift. I've been at this for 15 years, escaping from the fear and emotional scarring of the abuse. As I said before, it's not an easy road. I'm better than I was but I still have a long way to go.